badbadzoot's Diaryland Diary


don't worry, I'm still alive


So where in the world of Carmen Sandiego have I been for the last month?????? Hmmmmm????

It has been exactly 30, count 'em, T-H-I-R-T-Y days since I last updated, and boy has a lot went on in my world. I don't think that sentence is grammatically correct. Well piss on it.

So what have I been up to....................

should I tell you?

okay the suspense is killing me!


Not only did I have surgery, I had ABDOMINAL surgery. How sucky is that? So some of you know I HAD Crohn's Disease. Yes I am using past tense here, will explain in a minute. But you ask, "Crohn's Disease is for LIFE, how can you use it in the past tense?". Well shut up and let me finish.

where was I? Hey Queen is playing "we will rock you" on the radio. Like you care.

Jeez frikin louise, FOCUS ALREADY ZOOT!

So the last few entries have consisted of me whining about how sick I was. Well the Crohn's disease was making me un-well. It got to the point where I was just blowing chunks non-stop and couldn't even keep water down. Nasty. So I saw my doctor and he was feeling around my tummy and found a rigid spot near my pelvis. Watch where you put your hands doc.

anyway, he was concerned and referred me to a surgeon. Who is devilishy cute by the way. And very married. Darn. The surgeon was also concerned and said with me having Crohn's it could be anything and I needed a CT scan so he could see exactly what it was and then decide from there what to do.

Now with Crohn's disease, surgery is a last resort because the disease is just messy and surgery doesn't solve the problem more than 3/4 of the time. Those who have it will understand.

so- the surgeon actually direct admitted me to the hospital, which was conveniently across the street from his office, so I could get re-hydrated and junk. I also had to drink this nasty dye called Barium- so when they scanned my belly, my insides would glow in the dark- now that is something I'd like to see. I actually did see it once. When I had a colonoscopy in 2002 I also had a small bowel x-ray done where I had to drink that $#it. Glowing intestines- oooooohh.

moving right along- the CT scan showed (is that a word? showed? I think it is-whatever) that I had an abcess that attached itself to my abdominal wall. How lovely. So nice of you to visit Mr. Abcess, why don't you make yourself comfortable?

The surgeon who will henceforth be called Dr. Cuteypie-Who-Is-Married (Dr. C for short), decided to stick a drain in my stomach and drain that sucker dry. He didn't actually stick me, the Radiologist did while taking CT scans so he could get the tube in the right spot. I wasn't asleep for this. I wish I was. They were supposed to give me drugs to relax me. I had better relaxing drugs at the dentist's office. Heck, a frying pan over the head would have been great.

It actually went like this:

-scanning my belly
-nurse pushes relaxing drug into my IV
-radiologist jabs my belly with needles filled with numbing junk
-Numbing junk and relaxing drugs are not working
-radiologist continues to stab me with something to make a hole for the tube to drain the abcess
-me starting to cry in pain
-drain attached
-me wanting to die

I should have left the day after but didn't because I kept running a fever. I left the hospital 4 days later I believe. And then just after being home for ONE day I had to go BACK to the hospital because I got sick again puking all over the freaking place. Saw Dr. C and had another CT scan, found ANOTHER ABCESS. Good grief, my intestines have become a night club for abcesses. But this abcess was way down in my pelvis pressing against my bladder, which was in fact making me want to pee more often. Like you wanted to know that. I know you did.

Since this was deep in my pelvis Dr. C said I had to have surgery. Great. Just what I always wanted. But here is where I get to use Crohn's disease in the past tense: On my initial visit with Dr. C, he gave me some interesting statistics on where my Crohn's disease was affecting my body. Okay- the Crohn's was affecting my terminal ileum, that is where the small intestine meets the large intestine. And that is the ONLY place it was affecting. Dr. C told me that my greatest advantage in beating this was that I am young (I'm 24) and that I am a woman. He said that in 75% of young people that have the disease and have it in that particular area and HAVE IT REMOVED do NOT have a reoccurance of Crohn's disease. In short- I get my ileum removed and I have a 75% chance of living a Crohn's free life. Those odds are pretty nice if you ask me.

Now why didn't anyone tell me this before? Geez.

okay- back to the story. Had to have surgery for this other abcess, so Dr. C was going to go ahead and remove my ileum. yay! The surgery itself was great, cuz I was asleep. Afterwards was like world war III. It's a good thing I had that surgery, because the abcess wasn't an abcess after all. "What? For real? Not an abcess? Then what was it?" you ask. Well I'll tell you! A part of my small intestines had swelled up into a ball. Isn't our digestive system great? So Dr. C removed TWO FEET of my small intestine along with my ileum. Two feet I tell ya. That's a small child. Well I have 28 feet left, so I guess it's okay.

What does this all mean you ask?


And I was out of work for a month.


Gawd. It's great to be back in the land of the living. The hospital is actually a very depressing place to be. More than once have I had thoughts of just crawling under a rock and dying already.

But I am better. I am feeling better, and I can eat whatever the heck I want to again! Yay for me!


I actually had MEXICAN yesterday.

It was so freaking delicious. and I didn't get sick. I had the runs though. But that doesn't count because I've had the runs since being in the hospital. "Jeez Zoot, why the hell did you tell us that for, you %$#@&** $#@**&!!!" I told you because I thought we were friends! Isn't that what friends are for? Man, cry about it why don't you. IT'S ALL PART OF NATURE PEOPLE! WE EAT AND CREATE WASTE! IT NEEDS TO COME OUT SOMEWHERE!!!

okay, enough of that crap- literally.

So I'm back at work doing nothing just like I did before going to the hospital. AAAhhhhh, no place like home.

Oh- I also cut my hair off. It's freakin hot here in North Carolina. yuck.

well, I need to skeeedaddle, I'm off the clock in 10 minutes. whoopeeeeee.


4:01 p.m. - 2005-06-13


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