badbadzoot's Diaryland Diary


society sucks. really. bad. yo.


I just got back to work from school and had some lunch at my desk. Lean Cuisine Cheese Ravioli. Mm-mm good! Now I'm eating crackers.


If you haven't already, go read my guest entry on hcatty's page. If she's done gone updated already, look for the subject line: a guest entry for hcatty from zoot. Simple enough, eh?

Lazy Bastard Co-Worker hasn't commented on "the incident". Thank goodness. He keeps asking me about school though. Leave me alone! eeeekkkk!

There was some drama at my house last night. Nothing too exciting.

For those who do not know, I, yes, I, Zoot, am a youth leader at my church. Don't ask me what nutcase put me there, but I'm there! I'm there mostly to be a role model (ppfftt!) and mentor to the girls. I may kid, but I do take it seriously. I love my girls, and I'm real with them. I'm not fake. The way I talk here is the way I talk with them. Except for less swearing...

Soooo one of my girls, she was dubbed Dreadlock Girl, but now her hair is short, so I think I started calling her Amazon Girl. She is freakishly tall for a 15 year old.

She is a little on the heavy side for her height. She's not obese. Just has some meat on her bones. She thinks she's HUGE though. She keeps calling herself fat and ugly and I HATE IT! I keep telling her she's beautiful and gorgeous and there's nothing wrong with having a little extra weight. There are lots of guys who like that! She doesn't need a shallow man who will treat her like crapola!

I wish and hope that she takes what I say to heart even though I'm a bean pole. I'm an average weight for my height. And I'm satisfied. I don't think I'd care if I gained a few pounds. I think I would like it. Then people would stop commenting on how skinny I am. Because those comments give me a complex about my body! Seriously!

Well, moving on, Amazon Girl for the past year and a half, has been putting herself on these CRAZY diets to lose weight. Like only eating 200 calories a day. TWO HUNDRED CALORIES! My freaking CAT couldn't live on that!! I've told her before to NOT starve herself! But she's been doing it anyway. And it's up and down. She'll starve herself then eat normal. Just a vicious cycle.

It's gotten worse of late. She told me that after she ate dinner on Thursday, she threw it up.

oh dear lord no.

And she really hasn't eaten anything since. She's afraid she'll throw it up again. She says that she is starting to have thoughts of hating herself and her body and calling herself a failure and fat and ugly and a pig and so on and so forth.

oh my dear girl...

I'm glad that she recognizes that she's in the midst of Anorexia, and she wants to fix it. She doesn't want to feel this way or think this way. She desparately wants to feel better about herself. I told her recognizing that it's a psychological disorder is the first step. The next step is telling your mom and getting some professional therapy.

She called me late last night and asked if she could come to my house and crash. I went and got her and we were talking and it turns out her mom really doesn't know how to handle the situation. Anorexia is a control issue. The person feels like they are in control even though they are killing their body. Her mom is yelling at her and telling her what to do and just not handling it good. You don't tell someone who has a control issue what to do. It won't work.

So we talked A LOT last night. We were up until almost 2am. I was late to work this morning, I wanted to stay home, but I had school and some unfinished work to do. Mr. B was there though to keep her company and talk to her more. I think she's going home tonight. We have a youth group meeting tonight, so she might have her dad come get her at the church.

I want her to desperately see a therapist. I'm glad that she's talking to someone though, even if it's only me. But I would like to see her get professional help.


I hate society and how it negatively affects our children. Amazon Girl has become more obsessed with beauty and weight ever since America's Next Top Model debuted. I keep telling her those girls have no substance, nothing in their pretty little heads! And in the real fashion industry, the models stay thin by being on a cigarette and cocaine diet. Seriously.

ugh. I'm so frustrated and mad and sad and I think I'm going to switch gears on ya... I've been tagged by pinkbowshoe to list Five Weird Habits Of Mine. So here goes...


1- Whatever pizza is ordered, I pick off ALL the toppings. And it's not because I don't like them. I just, don't want to eat them on my pizza.

2- I also dip my pizza in blue cheese dressing. yum

3- I count on my fingers if I'm counting something up to seven.

4- once I start putting an object in a certain spot, I need to keep putting it there or I will lose it indefinitely. For instance, I keep my engagement ring in a small pocket in my purse when I take it off at night (so I don't lose it while I sleep). If I should ever put it anywhere else I will lose it. And then Zoot will disappear forever....

5- I get nekkid before starting the shower. Mr. B starts the shower first, weirdo.

HEY! CONSIDER YOURSELF TAGGED! Because I'm too lazy to list people....

I am sooo gassy right now it literally hurts.

3:04 p.m. - 2006-01-24


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