badbadzoot's Diaryland Diary


a triumphant return???

I absolutely HATE it that I am not one here as much as I should/need/want to be.

So much crap going on and I need a release but it has been hard because of school and Foster Son and Mr. B.

Because of that Mr. B ususally gets all the crap where I like to lay it out here. Here. Where its just me and the computer. And tons of other diarists who just happen along on this crazy ride of mine.

But you all understand!

That is why YOU are here!

To lay it all down! Get it all out! Whether or not anyone else is reading! Its out there in a somewhat controlled environment!

ugh, and then there is the problem of the computer being in the kitchen. not much privacy there.

we moved it out of our bedroom for more room, and people keep asking me to do design work and I don't like "clients" in my bedroom, cuz I'm not that kind of girl! (sorry smash)

and my dear husband won't leave me alone at the moment... he's whining about some modeling clay that "I" misplaced or whatever. Go look in the dammed bedroom already! Leave me aloooone!

DHHP(#*$&*@(#@JGFKLUR#$&#*RT$U JD

so things have been a bit upside down lately.

school is school and I can't WAIT for it to be OVERRRRRRRRR. I graduate this September and I'm tellin' ya- I just can't wait that long. I was supposed to graduate in June, but my school is a dumbass and I have to wait until September. poooo.

and for some reason- being an ART major I have to take a PHYSICS class. poo on that too.

I'm taking a physics class, math class, marketing class, and web class and I am quite the busy woman. Especially since Mr. B's car is slowly dying on us I have to drive everywhere (Mr. B can't drive a stick shift and I usually have my car at school anyways) and Mr. B had to put off finding a job.

It's been a bit stressful for me.

oh well jeez Mr. B can't find what he's looking for so now he's pouting about it. sorrrry!

Foster Son is doing well. I guess. His mother keeps calling and getting his hopes up about a possible weekend visit- then she calls on Sat. morning and says she can't come. Dang blasted woman! I told Foster Son's therapist and he was supposed to rectify that situation- woman gets the boy's hopes up then crushes them. She's been doing this for the past month and a half. But who am I to say a blessed thing? I'm just a freaking foster parent that has to live with this kid!!!!

oi vey.

I'm stressed. Tired. Exhausted. I know my Crohn's is having a flare up, I just thank God that there is no pain. Oh sure I've got other lovely symptoms, but as long as there is NO PAIN I AM ALLLLL GOOD! I'm watching it very closely, I've lost some weight- not good- but I'm starting to drink energy shakes at every meal to pack on the calories. Its not easy NOT have health insurance. I was supposed to apply for this lovely country's health package- but I keep stalling. The government's health care is not the best. I've seen the doctor's offices that take THAT kind of insurance- not good. Overcrowded, in and out like a slaughterhouse.

But what is a girl to do? Keep racking up those medical bills- see if I give a damn- send your so called "bill collectors" after me! Stop charging $100 for an office gown! Stop charging $300 just for the nurse to draw my blood! Dangnabit! Take me away! Ruin my credit! I don't want to buy a $300,000 house with a 2% interest rate anyways! I don't want to buy a brand new car with no money down! I like driving lemons! Makes my life so much happier!!!!!!!!


awe wuddn't dat cute?

and on top of all THAT I want to have a freaking baby so bad its not even funny.

Sure I know you can't exactly *plan* for a baby, but I definitely don't want to go about *making* one with Mr. B being jobless. Boy needs to get a job first.

Then we need to find a bigger place.

But I can't stop thinking about it. I often have dreams of having a baby.

Yeah sure call me a crazy woman! But I'm a crazy woman whos biological clock is starting to get quite loud!

The thought of having a baby scares the piss out of me, but I know I want one. Soon.


Hey my older brother is getting married!

(you liked how I switched subjects like that didn't ya?!)

He's getting married in June of '09, which means if I want a baby I need to do it fast so I can still fit into that dress- because I'm a bridesmaid!!!! woo hoo!!! Noone wants to look at a pregnant BRIDESMAID let alone a pregnant bride!

Well I've got more to say but I need to go to bed because I've got school bright and early tomorrow..... poo on that.

I'm going to dye my hair blue. seriously.

8:46 p.m. - 2008-01-23


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