badbadzoot's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- booty bum butt fanny rear derrier posterior asssssss my buddy list is glowing red.... I'm trying to catch up my reading while working, so be patient with me people! Because I was too busy being viloated yesterday to check on you guys and gals... To you who are on MySpace and happen to read my blog on there, you know what I'm talking about... To the rest I shall tell you my sad tale of woe about my bum bum. Or fanny. Or derriere. Or butt. Or rear end. Or wide load. Or booty. Or rump. Or behind. Or bottom. Or backside........ if you haven't gotten what I'm talking about yet, I am so sorry. SO!!!! Most of you know I have suffered from Crohn's Disease, a nasty thing that affects any part of the digestive tract. It affected a small part of my small intestines. Specifically the part where the large and small intestines connect, called the Ileum. Anywho, this lovely disease makes your body think there is something wrong, when really there probably isn't. It's an autoimmune disease. And it's not caused by a virus or bacteria. So what the heck causes it? Nobody knows!! The majority of Fart Doctors (or gastroenterologists as they like to be called) think it's hereditary. But I know of NO relatives of mine with this sort of problem. Meh. Oh well. I was really super uber sick for a few years, then had surgery last May. I wrote about it. Maybe I'll go find it later and link it here so you don't have to go searching through my archives... that would be nice of me, wouldn't it? The surgeon took out the disease part and I've been symptom free since then. But my Fart Doctor wanted me to have a colonoscopy to be sure there was no disease lying in wait for the perfect moment to cause loads of destruction and disaster upon my poor, poor, tired intestines... So I had a colonoscopy done yesterday. My Fart Doctor and I had just met Monday discussing it, then he's all like, how bout having the procedure this week? Oh yeah! Can't wait! Please, can't we do it today?? Ugh. I've had one done before, and in all honesty the colonoscopy itself is not bad because I was sleeping through the whole thing. It's just the "prep" that sucks monkey butt. Ach! I wasn't allowed to eat for two days. TWO DAYS. And a girl with a digestive problem shouldn't go without eating for a few hours.... (I eat constantly because with the Crohn's and me now missing two feet of intestines, food just goes right through me! Literally!) Oh good golly I was starving by the time the colonoscopy was over. Why did I need a colonoscopy you ask? Why not just an x-ray? Well, my Fart Doctor explained that an x-ray can detect some abnormalities, but is not indefinite. A colonoscopy is the only sure way to tell what's going on in there. Which is dumb, because after my colonoscopy the doc said that it looked alright except for one little part that he took a biopsy from. And then he wants me to have a small bowel x-ray. GAH! Make up your mind you freak!!!! Didn't I just have a colonoscopy to AVOID a small bowel x-ray?????? Ugh. So now I have to take MORE time off of work and go drink some nasty Barium that makes your insides glow. Good grief, by the time I die I will be so filled up with Barium that the government might mark me as radioactive... heh heh. Maybe then people I don't like will leave me alone.... ha ha. I can dress up in an alien suit and chase them around. HOOO HAAA!!! another one bites the dust..... I'M GONNA GET YOU TOO! hey hey... oh- sorry. I got sidetracked. Queen is playing on the radio right now. Soooooo, what did I get from that colonoscopy yesterday.... 1) A sore bum 2) bruises all over my arm because the nurse couldn't find a vein, and the one she did find she made sure the IV wasn't coming out..... owie 3) Disappointment that I have to have an x-ray 4) A $598 bill Horray for doctors!!! And their overpriced bills! Heck, I could have paid someone A LOT cheaper to go up my butt with a camera..... RANDOM FACT ABOUT ZOOT: 1:09 p.m. - 2006-04-13 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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